A month has already passed since we began 2016. Im still not used to the 2016 part, honestly I was just getting the hang of writing 2015. Where does the time go? I ask myself that question more and more lately. With time passing so quickly, I have been having an ache to really make the most of my time. I think a little bit of this comes with the new year, and making resolutions and such. I am always so excited to set new goals, but I'm not the best at following through with those goals. I think one of my biggest problems is I set about 100 of them! I think to myself this is the year, I am going to become better at everything, in every aspect of my life! Im going to run a marathon(i hate running), become the next master chef, and learn to play the tuba. ha! Im exaggerating some, but sometimes my goals feel lofty. This year though I have made it a little simpler for myself:
1. Make a habit of reading my scriptures. ( I always make this a resolution, and I always seem to fail at it) But I feel proud to say that I have only missed one day since January 1st! I am still working on it ... but I have done thirty days of it in a row so I have developed a habit right?! I hear habits are sometimes hard to break. (crossing my fingers) I do find that I get a little anxious if at the end of the day if I know I haven't read my scriptures. I want to feel like it is something I can not live without. I want to cultivate a true love for the word of the Lord.
2. Blog/journal. I am a nostalgic person. Reading, about or thinking back on things that have happened to me in the past, makes me feel grounded. I don't have that great of memory, therefore I tend to forget things, but I get super sad to think about forgetting all of the wonderful things that happen in my daily life. Especially now, as a mom, I want to remember every second of Nola's life. Seriously though, Nola has a bugger and I find myself thinking i need to write that down! So I want to be better at documenting our lives. Not just the exciting fun things we do, but our everyday adventures as well.
3. My third and final resolution, which I feel is the most important for me right now in my life, is to love myself. I don't have horrible self esteem, actually on most days I like who I am. I am a wife to a really really great man who loves me always, I am a mother to a sweet little girl who brings me so much happiness, I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, a wanna be cook, a picture taker, a dog lover, a dancer, an amateur rock climber, a great window shopper, and lots of other things. In todays world it is all too easy to compare ourselves to others, and at times I am definitely guilty of this. I feel the pressure, to wear super cute clothes, and own nice things, and to go on cool vacations with my family. I want to feel successful, and like I am contributing to our lives. Sometimes motherhood and staying home with Nola everyday doesn't make me feel that way. I miss dancing like you wouldn't believe, the performing, and the gratification of knowing you worked really hard for months on something. The rush of the curtain opening and its your time to shine to show everyone what you have worked for. I am so hard on myself, and I rarely pat myself on the back. I know I need to work on this I need to look at the big picture and realize that God has created me, and he loves me for who I am. As hard as it is for me to accept that, I am going to try my hardest to love the stage of life I'm in right now. This time as a young mother raising my child, and playing, and laughing and crying, is going to be something I cherish, and look back on feeling proud of myself, of the person that I am and the person I am trying to become.
Kinda long and cheesy, and I feel a bit vulnerable putting this all out there but I just want to be real about my goals this year. As cool as playing the Tuba would be, I just don't think its in the cards for me this year at least.... But I can be better at these few things. I want to truly love myself. I don't want Nola to hear me speak negatively about myself, and I don't ever want her to speak or think poorly about herself. I just want to be happy and I am betting these things will help me become a happier person. So CHEERS to a new year, minus one month, cause its February?! Anyways, bring it on 2016 I'm ready for you!
