NOLA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY

       ONE year old is a big deal for a little one, but i think its even a bigger deal for the parents! ONE year keeping a tiny human alive!! Sometimes I think this day is almost more of a celebration for us mom's and dad's than it is for the baby themselves. It makes sense though, parenting is hard stuff, we should definitely celebrate this little person that we created and nurtured for the past 12 months. Nola's first birthday was a good one. I tried to keep it low key, but at the same time make it special. Just a few decorations, a cake, and a little adventure.

       

       The night before her big day, I held Nola and told her all about the day she was born, how she was almost named ruby, how I was happier than i'd been in months when the nurse said, "its go time!" I told her about how anxious I was to meet her, and that unbelievable moment when they finally laid her on my chest. She didn't seem to care much about what I was saying, but telling her made me remember what a wonderful day it was. The best day of my life. I tucked her in and tried to accept that it would be my last time kissing my 11 month old baby goodnight.

      My mom makes the best cakes. She doesn't make them from scratch or anything, but she's got these secrets, that make those cakes fluff up to absolute perfection! Unfortunately, I didn't get her talent...  For Nola's b-day cake I choose a simple betty crocker, white cake mix.  "What could go wrong i thought?" apparently everything. I threw it in the oven and then Zach and I proceeded to watch our movie. At the buzzer I got it out of the oven and resumed the show. I headed over to turn out the lights and lock up and I caught a glimpse of the cake.... or (giant doughnut)i'd created. The entire middle was gone. It had sunk and was all goopy and gross. I even did the tooth pick trick?!  I wish I had a picture to show you the lovely thing! I frantically searched the kitchen over for something round that could work to replace the hole. I ended up using the lid of my parmesan cheese shaker, rinsed it out and it worked perfectly! I may have not gotten the cake making gene, but I sure can improvise! (thanks modern dance)

       We filled Nolie's room with balloons and woke her up a bit earlier than usual that morning. We had a snow shoeing adventure planned for that morning. I had this great idea that we would hike up to the top of some awesome peak and let Nola release ONE single balloon into the sky. It felt so symbolic and like a fun tradition, plus it would make for an epic photo! We drove all the way up big cottonwood, and it was windy and stormy, but we decided to give it a try anyways. The second we opened the door, out flew the balloon. It was such an anti climatic moment...  I was pretty bummed, but what can you do?  We found a nice spot halfway down the mountain and enjoyed the nicer weather traipsing around in the snow. Nola is always so happy in her hiking backpack, so I felt like it was a perfect activity for her birthday!

     

     When it came time to try some cake, she really wanted nothing to do with it. In fact she wanted as far away from the cake as possible. She loved when we sang to her, and when i went to blow out the candle she leaned in and made a tiny little blowing noise. Where did she learn that from!? It was the cutest thing ever. Once we finally convinced her to sit down by the cake again we had to trick her to touch the frosting by placing one of the yarn balls on top so she would grab it off and hopefully touch the cake. Wow talk about crazy parents!  I don't know why I was so persistent on her touching it? It just seemed like something that needed to happen. It ended up that we were the ones eating, and poking at the cake. When she did end up getting frosting on her hands, she waved them in the air so fast and wiped them on the table about 100 times. I think its safe to say she didn't enjoy the experience all that much.. The cake ended up tasting pretty nasty too so I don't blame her. Hopefully she'll enjoy her second birthday cake a little better. 

its my birthday i can cry if i want to.

       As you can see there were a lot of mixed emotions, and a lot of convincing on our part.  Zach was snapping some pictures towards the end, and would count down from 3, then she would give us the cheesiest smile/yelling face ever. It happened every time. We were cracking up! 

                  

               

         

             

Im dying over those two front teeth and that gap, well and everything about that face. hahaha

yumm.... yarn cake.

I wouldn't have changed our special little celebration with this girl. We had such fun just the three of us. We sure do love her. Our lives were forever changed on January 6, 2015. We are the luckiest that she's ours! 

IT'S A NEW YEAR

A month has already passed since we began 2016. Im still not used to the 2016 part, honestly I was just getting the hang of writing 2015. Where does the time go? I ask myself that question more and more lately. With time passing so quickly, I have been having an ache to really make the most of my time. I think a little bit of this comes with the new year, and making resolutions and such. I am always so excited to set new goals, but I'm not the best at following through with those goals.  I think one of my biggest problems is I set about 100 of them! I think to myself this is the year, I am going to become better at everything, in every aspect of my life! Im going to run a marathon(i hate running), become the next master chef, and learn to play the tuba. ha! Im exaggerating some, but sometimes my goals feel lofty. This year though I have made it a little simpler for myself:

1. Make a habit of reading my scriptures. ( I always make this a resolution, and I always seem to fail at it) But I feel proud to say that I have only missed one day since January 1st! I am still working on it ... but I have done thirty days of it in a row so I have developed a habit right?! I hear habits are sometimes hard to break. (crossing my fingers)  I do find that I get a little anxious if at the end of the day if I know I haven't read my scriptures. I want to feel like it is something I can not live without. I want to cultivate a true love for the word of the Lord.

2. Blog/journal. I am a nostalgic person. Reading, about or thinking back on things that have happened to me in the past, makes me feel grounded. I don't have that great of memory, therefore I tend to forget things, but I get super sad to think about forgetting all of the wonderful things that happen in my daily life. Especially now, as a mom, I want to remember every second of Nola's life. Seriously though, Nola has a bugger and I find myself thinking i need to write that down! So I want to be better at documenting our lives. Not just the exciting fun things we do, but our everyday adventures as well.

3. My third and final resolution, which I feel is the most important for me right now in my life, is to love myself. I don't have horrible self esteem, actually on most days I like who I am. I am a wife to a really really great man who loves me always, I am a mother to a sweet little girl who brings me so much happiness, I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, a wanna be cook, a picture taker, a dog lover, a dancer, an amateur rock climber, a great window shopper, and lots of other things. In todays world it is all too easy to compare ourselves to others, and at times I am definitely guilty of this. I feel the pressure, to wear super cute clothes, and own nice things, and to go on cool vacations with my family. I want to feel successful, and like I am contributing to our lives. Sometimes motherhood and staying home with Nola everyday doesn't make me feel that way. I miss dancing like you wouldn't believe, the performing, and the gratification of knowing you worked really hard for months on something. The rush of the curtain opening and its your time to shine to show everyone what you have worked for. I am so hard on myself, and I rarely pat myself on the back. I know I need to work on this I need to look at the big picture and realize that God has created me, and he loves me for who I am. As hard as it is for me to accept that, I am going to try my hardest to love the stage of life I'm in right now. This time as a young mother raising my child, and playing, and laughing and crying, is going to be something I cherish, and look back on feeling proud of myself, of the person that I am and the person I am trying to become.

Kinda long and cheesy, and I feel a bit vulnerable putting this all out there but I just want to be real about my goals this year. As cool as playing the Tuba would be, I just don't think its in the cards for me this year at least.... But I can be better at these few things. I want to truly love myself. I don't want Nola to hear me speak negatively about myself,  and I don't ever want her to speak or think poorly about herself. I just want to be happy and I am betting these things will help me become a happier person. So CHEERS to a new year, minus one month, cause its February?! Anyways, bring it on 2016 I'm ready for you!

AWAKEN BY BACON

So much determination.

Watching them interact was so much fun, because we dont 

I could stare at this Christmas village for hours.

The cutest little cousins

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are filled with family, good food, exchanging of gifts, music, laughs, and overall a good time. On Christmas Eve day we watched Elf as a family which caused us to quote "Bye Buddy, Hope you find your dad" the rest of the weekend. Around 5 we headed over to my grandparents house for pizza, and my favorite thing ever, Grandpa playing the accordion. Nola loved the music, she was dancing up a storm, and just running all over the place. Me and my sisters had a dance party to the accordion music, and Devan did the Leprechaun dance.  Nola wore the cute little moccs which were her uncle braydens all day and night. It was so cute when Bray found out they were his. He thought it was pretty neat. 

Once we were home,  We gave Nola her Christmas eve present which was a picture book. By this time she was pretty sleepy and ready for bed. I was feeling the same! After sitting down and writing what we wanted to give to baby Jesus this year, singing a verse of Silent night, and setting out some milk and cookies, we were off to bed. I remember how hard it was to fall asleep as a kid on Christmas eve. As a parent, I was pretty dang excited, as I snuggled up to Zach and lay there thinking about our first Christmas as a family of three, I couldn't stop smiling, but the exhaustion took over. 

Christmas morning we woke up around 7 to the smell of bacon. We kept saying how nice it was to be  "awaken by bacon". After poking the two brothers and brynlies pleadings for them to hurry up and get up, we gathered around for the nativity story. I went in and woke Nolie, and brought her out to our little circle on the floor. I love the way she acts right after she wakes up and to have her looking sleepily and sweetly at everyone in a circle, was one of the highlights of my day. She wanted to go around and give everyone loves. After brynlie gave the recap of the birth of Jesus and we said a nice family prayer we headed down stairs to see what Santa had brought. Nola was in complete awe. We cramed in our tiny front room, which becomes substantially smaller on christmas due to the tree and presents, and watched each other open gifts. Nola was having a bit of trouble with her wedgie jammies, and face planted it right on the carpet. Then she couldn't get back up. It was super funny. She got pretty good at opening presents and helped everyone out by ripping off the paper and stealing all the bows. 

Santa brought some nerf guns and darts for the family. Zach being the tease he is, grabbed one and shot it right at my chest from about a foot away. He was thinking back to his childhood days of the weak, wimpy nerf guns.... well now a days they are much stronger. Believe me I know... I had a giant welt for the entire day. He felt horrible. haha I got lots of extra hugs and kisses and I think even a pity foot massage that day from him. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. 

Nola crashed at about ten on christmas morning, sprawled across zach and my laps at my grandparents home. What an eventful couple days we had. We ended the day playing some games, and laughing our eyes out. That drawing game gets me everytime! What a wonderful time of year, spent with the ones we love, and remembering the birth of the Savior of the World. He is the greatest gift.